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Back to School: How I Prioritize My Nervous System as a Parent

August is here, which means back to school for most of us! With that comes SO many feelings for us caregivers - the sigh of RELIEF for consistent child care, TEARFUL that our kids are another year older (time is a thief!), the WORRY about the unknown of this year, the EXCITEMENT for our kids’ new experiences and the STRESS of the unpredictable school closures, illnesses and holiday breaks. 


A boy is in school drawing with a color pencil

As caregivers we spend so much time preparing our kids for the new school year -

the tangible: new clothes, lunchboxes, backpacks, school supplies

the physical: haircuts, check-ups, dentist visits, nourishing meals, a space to do homework

the emotional: taking the care and time to ensure our kids are emotionally ready for a new year


All of this takes so much energy and care. So much energy and care from us - the caregivers. And the energy and care does not stop there. We still need to help with homework, drive to gymnastics, cook dinner and wash the clothes. And as we give, our reserve of self-regulation is being depleted, leaving our nervous system more and more fragile. 


During our back-to-school prep, we are forgetting to prioritize caring for a vital member of the back-to-school dyad - THE CAREGIVER! As we prepare for a new school year, I urge you to think about what you need! What are you doing (daily) to fill your cup so that you can continue to show up for your kids and their varied needs? What are you doing to help your body stay regulated as the curveball of school illnesses is revving back up?


This isn’t self-care. I’m not talking about bubble baths, face masks and a glass of wine (all of that is great). I’m talking about TRUE strategies that support a calm and regulated nervous system. Are you nourishing yourself? Are you prioritizing rest? Have you moved your body? Have you practiced staying present? 


Two boys and two adults are reading a book

I’m sure many of you are rolling your eyes as you read this. The age old story of, “I don’t have time”. And while that may be true, I advise you to find one or two small ways to care for yourself in a way that will positively impact your nervous system so that you CAN manage the curveballs parenting WILL throw your way this school year.


I am a business owner (two in fact) and have two young boys (ages 3.5 and 5) and this is how I have chosen to prioritize my nervous system in THIS season of my life:


  1. BREATH: I used to wake up at 5:15AM several mornings a week to get in a quick workout on my peloton before any of my humans were awake. But, as my kids have gotten older, and stay up later, I find myself staying up later too. So, 5:15AM was leaving me with far too little sleep and I had to make a plan to pivot. Now, I wake up at 6:00AM, go downstairs, sit on my couch with a blanket, put on my redlight mask and do box-breathing for 5-10 minutes as my body wakes up. This allows me to start my day with a regulating activity rather than picking up my phone to immediately scroll. 


  2. NOURISHMENT: Every morning I prioritize a breakfast with protein, fat and fiber BEFORE having my coffee (this has taken lots of practice and self-restraint) as to not spike my cortisol levels. 


  3. MOVEMENT: Movement is one of the most regulating activities for ALL humans. And one that I know my body and brain really responds to. I promise y’all that my to-do list is SO long, like SO SO long (#businessownerlife), but I have really been practicing pausing during my day for a 20-30 minute movement break. Stopping my day at 3:30PM or 4:00PM allows me to squeeze in a quick 20-30 minute home workout. This is VERY good for my nervous system, but also wakes me up a little in the afternoon right before school pick up. I recognize the privilege of self-employment in ending my day earlier to workout, but I wonder if there is time in your schedule for 10 minutes of movement? 


  4. REST: I love to doom scroll on my phone at night like the rest of you. And I absolutely refuse to end this guilty habit. BUT, as I get in bed at night, I have been setting a timer on my phone for 10 minutes and once my timer goes off, my phone goes down and I pick up my kindle. I often only read for 5 or so minutes before my eyes are heavy and I’m ready for bed. But this practice of a social media boundary is SO good for the nervous system. 


All of this has been possible for me through communication with my husband AND the utilization of household systems. If you want more strategies on how to build household systems around school year routines, join our webinar on August 30, 2024 (link here). 


Again, my toolkit for caregiver self-regulation will likely change overtime as my family, personal and business needs change. BUT right now, this is very attainable for me. This is where I challenge YOU to pick 1-2 daily practices that will support your nervous system. 



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